But pain… seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life.
Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on regardless.
Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life in addition to the pain?
-Lois McMaster Bujold
I am not so sure about glory while pursing one of the minor sports, but I am sure that you can find meaning, and certainly pain is quite easy to find. In bucketfulls actually.
I’ve been racing bikes a lot recently, and in the race I did tonight, all I saw for the entire race (& I made the decisive breakaway) was this-
Just a wheel driving in front of me- Literally, for the whole race, All I could manage was focusing on the gears & legs driving relentlessly onward.
It was tunnel vison, a long dark tunnel dripping with lactic acid…
It was all I could do to barely hang on to the insane pace of the 13 man breakaway, and do my turn when it was my turn to pull, That light at the end of the tunnel was a ragged, leg searing, ugly sprint. I was 4th or 5th, my memory of it is somewhat broken.
When I got home from racing, I was shaking with exhaustion, I had some dishes to do in the kitchen, and each plate felt heavy like a 45 lb plate in the gym.
I’ve thought a bit in the last few week of taking a break from blogging, or even shutting the blog down.
I’ve just been overwhelmed, work & training have built up into a toxic cocktail. I really try to post every 2 or 3 days, which has always been my mantra.
But I’ve only posted 4 times this month, I have lots of stuff half done… Bleah…
Usually I have a bit of a downturn in the spring, but this feels like a nosedive. By nature & nurtue, I’m a pretty energetic fellow, but right now I’m just so, so tired….
Brain Boudreau, whose freaky-strong legs are the ones in the above photo, has been bike racing too, and this past week is now back on the short track.
Either I need a break, or I need to get back on my skates, or.. I don’t know…..
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