Zen and the Art of Speedskating

Posted on 12 Aug 01:19 pm

Genus, Species

I just saw a sweet new pair of SS short track boots built for Brian Boudreau, and Bruce Kohen had embedded a hologram of a T-Rex skull on the heel.

My mind instantly went to the silly idea of, it’s the Boudreauisaurus Rex!

Or maybe I was just thinking of the inline speed team, the Flying Fossils, who recently competed at the Montreal 24-hour race.

But what if we each skater had a species name attached to us? Specifically recognizing aspects of our effort or personality?

For example, here is the Krannisaurus Mexicanus at rest in the early morning sun.

Or how about PatMeekus StLouisaur, showing perfect hip & back curl, his wound-spring of power has been perfected, not through millions of years of evolution, but by tens of thousands of ST & LT laps.

Here is a species most speedskaters are unfamiliar with, Derbygirlus Toughidon.

(she is a speedskater as well as skating roller derby, & shows a nice pivot around some carnage typical for this biome)

Here is a rare series of images of a LoveMachinus Drylandsoreass in his natural August habitat

Back to the ice we can find a colorful JKato Incrediraptor accelerating to top speed. The sound his blades make as he speeds through this environment leaves awe in his wake.

And here is a glimpse of the powerful Marsicanus Saratogus leading a thundering heard of NationalTeamus Allaroundicus across the frozen meters.

Lest you think I am being overly silly with all this (well, I am being very silly), there are serious scientists out there who have given dinosaurs names like:

Bambiraptor

Technosaurus

Irritator Challengeri

Saltasaurus

& the informally named ELVISAURUS

More weird Dino-names can be seen here.

Are there genus/species in your neighborhood that are worth including in this offbeat catalog?

Filed under: from home

19 Responses to “Genus, Species”

panch0 in Miami, on August 12th, 2007 at 2:22 pm Said:

ROFL!! Great post!
Melissa, on August 12th, 2007 at 2:50 pm Said:

I love the dinosaur names!
Bri, on August 12th, 2007 at 4:06 pm Said:

lol, how bored are you???
andrew, on August 12th, 2007 at 4:45 pm Said:

not bored, qutie busy actually..

I’m just a tad eccentric in how I look at the world.. I always have been…
Jamie Cowen, on August 12th, 2007 at 5:35 pm Said:

ROFLMAO!!!!! Stop cough, cough, eccentric? That’s a good read.
Bri, on August 12th, 2007 at 5:39 pm Said:

lol, cool!
panch0 in Miami, on August 12th, 2007 at 5:50 pm Said:

Drylansoreass… ROFLMAO!!
eric, on August 13th, 2007 at 10:45 am Said:

I have a small problem with this:
Krannisaurus Mexicanus

It might be because the after mentioned creature is foreign and the latin version plays funny to the mexican Ear.

First of all, Krannisaurus is misspelled… it should read KRAANisaurus. and MexicANUS, well, lets just say I don’t wanna go there.

Anyway, the official name of this creature of leisure in Mexican lore is the:
MexiKraanus Erectus
For it is well documented that he could not get very low anyway! hehe!!

My god, I have chicken legs… I hope that as with the previous postings, I can skate fast with skinny legs sitting high like Falko!!

Eric Kraan.

PS: maybe the bigger wheels make the rest look small. PANCHO: mucha dynamita poca mecha!
greg, on August 13th, 2007 at 10:57 am Said:

Andrew ‘Love Machine’, haha, that’s a good nickname for you from now on, [when i see you I’ll remind you]
but wait, wasn’t that ‘Shaft’s’ nickname? Hmmmm…
andrew, on August 13th, 2007 at 12:21 pm Said:

actually, several of the national team guys started calling me “Love Machine” some years ago;

and oddly enough, it seems to have stuck & become my default “skater nickname” in certain circles.
Meaghan, on August 13th, 2007 at 8:32 pm Said:

Phenomenal. Thanks for the read (and the laughter). Great to see you’re having happy times writing as much as training (isn’t dryland fun???!!!… yeah, I know… just wait another few years, it won’t be quite so novel!). Cheers, M.
Kelly P, on August 14th, 2007 at 3:29 am Said:

LOL!

This was a much needed read this morning!!!
Thanks Andrew!!
panch0 in Miami, on August 14th, 2007 at 9:15 am Said:

Paisa… Echale ganas! No te agüites con la mecha ni con las pinches ruedotas esas:)

Anyway… MexiKraanus Erectus still kinda’ funky! I don’t like to use anything in one sentence that sounds like “anus erectus” because that is just plain wrong!!
Steph, on August 15th, 2007 at 7:50 pm Said:

I think sore ass definitely was the most fitting name. But, I did like them all.

And I have to agree with panch0 on the last one… that is just plain wrong… on so many levels.
eva, on August 16th, 2007 at 8:39 am Said:

“Femalesprintus Americana”: Highly endangered; soon to be extinct.

Speaking of the condition of our women’s sprint team, can anyone tell us for sure if our only A Group skater, Elli Ochowicz, has retired or if she has gone somewhere else to train?
Ryan, on August 16th, 2007 at 10:50 am Said:

Eva,
Elli and I agreed she could do her summer schooling in MKE while doing the NT training on her own there until she returns to SLC after her classes were completed. She should be returning some time next week.
eva, on August 16th, 2007 at 12:46 pm Said:

Hi Ryan,

Thanks for putting the rumors to rest!
Eric, on August 16th, 2007 at 1:55 pm Said:

OK, I guess I was trying to be too funny.. Anyway, lets just say that the darn thing is extinct and never to be seen again!

Keep jumpin’ skater JUMP!
Kate, on August 24th, 2007 at 1:26 am Said:

I love that sequence of the dryland “dance”!

also, whew! what a change for the site. I did a real double-take there. However, i think i like it; more important, i think it will have more impact with your target readers.

and, yeah, i haven’t dropped off the face of the earth, just had major internet hassles for a week there. Kauai rocks! more news tomorrow.