Zen and the Art of Speedskating

Walking away from the ice today, after a good race-prep workout, that 18 wheeler of reality suddenly blindsided me. Olympic trials are 18 DAYS AWAY!! I race both Saturday and Sunday this weekend, but trials is all I could think about.

I feel great on my skates, this Wednesday I skated my fastest lap ever (a 26.29, for you skate geeks), yet thinking about trials, fear hit my stomach like a thousand butterflies flying fighter jets through my gastrointestinal tract. I thought about failure, failure in front of my wife, mother, father, brother, best friends, coach, in-laws, and some dear friends of the family flying thousands of miles to cheer me on!

Failure at what I have focused much of my life on, and sacrificed so much for, over the last 4 years. All of this started on January 5th, 2002, what was I thinking in the pic below, flailing down the ice in my first 500m race ever in Lake Placid, that sent me down this path..

I could make a tiny split second mistake in one of my 500m races during trials, and that could send me crashing into a wall, or, almost worse, just skate a crummy time as nerves torpedo my technique. It happened in my first 500m at nationals last year, and the year before that too!

There is no answer to this fear, other than to dredge up a quote from skating mythology:

Dan Jansen’s Father once said to his young son, who was angry about not winning a race:

“Dan, there is more to life than skating around in a circle”.

He is right, I keep reminding myself, it’s the path, it’s the friends, it’s the experience, it’s what I see in the mirror each morning…. Well, its what I see in the mirror after a cup of coffee has opened my eyes, before that I am a sleepy, blind, stumbling mole.

When I talk about these things here, I am trying to convince myself they are true, argue with that hyper-competitive part of myself vs myself that simply wants to #!@$#!@!! win, no matter how unrealistic.

And what is winning anyway? Would someone explain this to the butterflies tearing around my stomach!

On a much happier & less stressed note, a fellow who has sacrificed a lot too, Rodney Kopish, finally qualified for Olympic trials after being frustratingly close all year. Check out his update on his website, and also, he put together a fantastic quicktime movie that rings a bell of truth as to what this experience is like.

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Snow has been pounding Utah for the last week, but today the clouds parted, and the peaks, wreathed in white, stunningly appeared against a perfect blue western sky. This is the Wasatch Range looking east:

And the very different mood of the Oquirrhs (pronounced like the plural form of the color “ochre”) looking west:

Gosh, its so beautiful out here, and I needed to see this as I drove to the rink. Nature can remind you of the your proper miniscule place in the universe when you are stuck within your own selfish crap. See, I have hit a speed plateau in my skating, and have been frustrated recently.

I probably seem like a reasonable, thoughtful person in this calm & wordy format. But sometimes on the ice I can be quite different; intensely competitive, monomaniacal, focused, obstinate, and angry with myself when the technical flaws I have been working to correct for years keep coming back over and over. Boris deserves a medal for dealing with me these last few weeks, or at least I should buy him a good bottle of vodka. I think a few of his grey hairs are now indisputably my fault.

But the mountains today made me feel better. But all is still not well at the oval, arriving at the rink, I notice my friend & fellow Lake Placid refugee Donald Stewart hobbling around. On Monday he was doing a simple 200m accel, nothing crazy or dangerous, and Donald both felt and heard something go snap-crackle-pop in his left foot. He stood up, and said to Chris Needham who was skating with him, “hey! I think I just broke my foot.”

And he had, in three places actually, two bones in the forefoot and one in the heel. He had a cast put on Monday, and today he cut the cast off and tried to skate. He borrowed tape from me, and this was the result, a wild blend of hockey tape and duct tape. I thought it was quite funny that the tape seemed to match his boots.

He just briefly touched the ice, and was in quite a bit of pain, although he put a brave face on it. 28 days to go till Olympic trials is not a good time to break your foot!!!

There are quite a few people who are hurt or sick at the oval right now, intense athletic demands exacts an intense price. All of this reminds me to be happy for the few things I do right when I skate, the mountains, a coach who puts up with my crap, and my overbuilt-clydesdale solid skeleton!

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Chad got to hang his name on the wall of records at the Utah Olympic oval. They brought out a lift, and Chad was hoisted up to add his name and 1500m record time to the wall of honor.

In other observation of the world cup, in the words of some of the best US skaters, the German & Chinese women “skate like dudes!”. One of the Chinese female sprinters looks BIGGER THAN ME!! In both height and muscle. Of course that is both flattering and unflattering to say… But they seem very different than the American, Canadian, & Japanese skaters, who do beat them often, but somehow seem more like women in stance, style, & body language.

I don’t think they “Skate like dudes” because of chemical assistance, although that was certainly true in the past. It’s more likely that the Germans & Chinese follow a completely different, mega-power based approach to skating… They must lift 5 times a week!!! Even more importantly, I bet their sport philosophy idealizes a different kind of athlete, a big, strong, monster power athlete as the “ideal skater”. I bet the Canadians & Americans gravitate to individuals who display “technical feel” for the ice, and the Japanese idealize & promote skaters who are “Cheetah’s” of natural fast twitch aptitude.

Heck, in the USA, long track speedskating is so small, we gladly accept ANY people! Cheetahs, Wildebeest, Rhinos and Giraffes, if you are alive, come on out and skate!!!

(all of this said, German superstar Anni Friesinger is HOT, a beautiful woman in every respect, the pictures linked here do not do her justice, but she still skates with the power of a Dude)

I also got to hang out with some cool Dutch fans. They knew rising star Ireene Wust, and came from the same small town she does. I felt quite comfortable in this friendly ocean of orange.

Here is the unique body position of Norwegian Peter Andersen, the Dutch joke that he practically “licks the ice” as he skates, as his unique personal body geometry brings his shoulders very low. I love watching this 10 year veteran of the world cup attack races. The crucial thing to notice is that even though his shoulders are weirdly low, his extension is tremendous and his hips are perfect in their position. Everyone has an individual style, but there are elements of technique that remain essential. Andersen exhibits a whole lotta style and a ton of essential.

Also at today’s world cup the men’s 500m and 5k world records both fell…. Both incredible races… Sven Kramers last 2 laps of his 5k were 28.8 and 28.1. That is like a runner popping off two 4 minute miles at the end of a marathon… wow. Chad was pissed his 5k WR was gone. I am sure it will be more fuel in his psychological fires, that man is a total competitor.

Here is a photo I took just before Joji Kato’s 500m world record, He is paired with good guy, and Zen 10 interviewee Joey Cheek. There are many layers of “seeing” here. The skaters are focusing down the track, gathering a lifetime of training & focus into this race, the crowd is focusing on them, the television camera is focusing on Joey’s fast feet, and through that lens, televisions throughout the world see this race, & skaters will see this race captured on tape, over and over, and finally, there is me and my camera, capturing this image & the ideas swirling about it, all leading to the final viewer, you and your computer screen.

30.3 seconds after this pic was shot, 20 year old Joji Kato became the new 500m world record holder. Wanna see it? Download a .zip file here that uncompresses to a realplayer video from Dutch TV. A skater told me that once Joji’s blades were damaged on a plane trip to a race in Herenveen, so he borrowed a pair from a team-mate that were waaay too short. He has such a feel for the ice, he skated one practice on them, & won the next day anyway!

Joey is such a class act, he realized what just happened, and congratulates Joji. If you want a larger version of this pic for your desktop, click on it. Just don’t sell it… or if you do, send me some $!!!

ok, its 11:15am, and now I have to go watch the final day of racing…

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Cars, travel, pets, great coffee & paradise bars at Alterra’s on the Wisconsin Lakeshore, we live in a culture & time where so many of our pleasurable & memorable experiences have a price tag associated with them, even if it’s just burning gasoline driving to the state park to shuffle your feet through autumn leaves. Of course, the best things in life are still free, but a lot of cool things aren’t.

Quite frequently I have had people ask me how much my skates cost. I usually do tell, but I always immediately launch into one of my verbal convolutions about money & value & experience & travel & friendships that somehow never comes out the way I intend. So here is my shot at getting it right.

The central concept I want to invoke runs something like this: You can attach a dollar sign to most of the things we do as 21st century inhabitants. But what is the value & use these items & experiences add to our lives? Examining and being aware of our dollar habits, and how it flavors our emotional life is the crucial awareness that explains the lengths skaters & other athletes go to in pursing their sports.

I can give an answer to what my Canadian Van Horne skating boots & Dutch Viking blades cost me, roughly $1200 (2002 prices, since the dollar has tanked, it would be more now…) That is a significant chunk of change, but compared to what many bicyclists spend on bikes, or what ANY SPORT WITH A MOTOR costs, this is cheap for Olympic caliber equipment that will last for years. Even average runners can wear out 3-4 pairs of $100+ shoes a year. In 3-4 seasons, that costs as much as my custom carbon fibre speedskates.

But the price of skates is not speedskating, and indicates nothing of the value of sport & your own personal experience. Instead of asking obsessed/intense speedskaters what their skates cost, if you want to reveal the charged intersection of the spiritual/financial hotwire, instead ask them “how much have you spent on travel to get to races/practice in the last few years?”

Usually the response will be a rolling of the eyes, a hesitation, a groan, and then finally something like “damm, I don’t want to know”.

Then follow up your question with, “Where have you traveled? Do you have friends in faraway places? What are some of your road-trip memories from races? Who are the good people you never would have met unless you did this crazy sport?”

Then the groan is replaced by a smile, and the flood of true value comes rushing forth.

Every skater has their stories, their connections. There are about 10 different places I can think of where I if I showed up to inline or ice skate, I would be greeted like a valued member of the wandering skate-gypsy tribe; and I have developed strong friendships that go far beyond skating, friendships forged in the emotional smelter of racing that are now something else. Most skaters are like that too, since the community is so small, you develop strong connections. I started writing names of good folks I think of and miss. The list quickly became 30+ people, but I decided not to include it here, because I could barely scratch the surface of this eccentric & good-hearted tribe of blade and wheel.

But there is one name I will mention in closing, because true value & travel sometimes results in serendipitous connections with old friends completely unrelated to skating. I have known Satya since I was 13. We went to middle/high school together at ACS, & then attended undergraduate just down the road from each other (Hampshire for me, Smith for her). These days Satya is a smart fish in a big think tank, working as an alternative energy analyst at COWS in Madison, Wisconsin. After I was done racing at US single distance champs a few weeks ago, we went out for brunch and had a wonderful multi-hour catch up on the past DECADE of our lives. Circuitously I have my moth-like obsession with skating & the money I spent to travel to that race, to thank for it. That is true value, & worth every penny.

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Most people are familiar with these common athletic acronyms that appear on speedskating results sheets:
DNF -did not finish
DNS -did not start
DSQ -disqualified.

Some who have raced for years are even familiar with one of my all time, but much less common, favorites;

DFL -dead freaking last,

I DFL’ed a good deal when I was bike racing, usually on courses that resembled M.C. Escher paintings marching relentlessly uphill.

So I am having an email conversation with my close friend Carla “last-lap” Langenthal, (shown on the right here) and she wrote me about some new acronyms she has come up with. Her email started out with:

We all skated terribly this weekend, and I’ve come up with new abbreviations to go with DNF and DNS.

DNSRW –Did not Skate real well
NGR -not a good race;
SWS -slipped while starting
UBS -unexplainable bad start
UBR -unexplainable bad race
SIC -slipping in the corners
NPS -non-powerful straightaways;
WAL -wobbling ankles or legs,
STF -started too fast
STS -started too slow
EPE -equipment problem(s) excuse;
LEP -legitimate equipment problem(s);
IIE -illness/injury excuse,
RII -real illness/injury;
AHL -ask him/her later;
DAC -don’t ask the coach.

This, of course, got my mental wheels turning, and I had to add a few of my own creative acronyms to this list;

LOL -legs of lead
FBC -fast but crashed
CIC -crashed in corner
OGD -other guy drafted
OTF -over trained fool
NEC -not enough coffee
TMC – too much coffee
VUB -vomited up breakfast
FTD -forgot to de-burr
MTC -MUCH TOO COLD (a Lake Placid special)
EBF -eye balls froze (more Lake Placid)
SOB -skinsuit on backwards

Carla replied with:
DRC - distracted by rude comments
DBE - distracted by ex
DBC - distracted by crush
DBK - distracted by kids
DBP - distracted by parents
CLT - coach lied about split times
PCL - pair’s coach too loud
PIS - pair was inappropriately slow
PLP - pair lied about pace
OWW - officials were wrong
LCW - lap counter was wrong
CDW - clock didn’t work
AFO - armband flew off
GTW - got tired warming up
DWE - didn’t warm up enough
IRS - ice repair while standing on starting line

By this point, the acronyms were getting out of control;
WOC -White out condiditions (lake placid, about 25% of the time)
NEO -not enough oxygen! (high altitude rinks only)
AWB -ate Wisconsin breakfast
FTS -forgot to sharpen
SIR -stuck in rut (this has a physical/mental double meaning)
OTH -OH THE HUMANITY! (Reserved for really bad days racing a 10,000m)

More Carla:
FDN - friend drunk-dialed in the middle of the night
GSM - got stuck in the Marquette interchange
PBS - pretty but slow
UST - unusually sloppy technique
DTH - dinner too heavy
BTL - breakfast too light
DNH - did not hydrate
AJF - accepted junk from a friend
FPF - (travelling) forgot to pack food
ASS - (travelling) ate something strange (hahaha)
FPS - (travelling) forgot to pack supplements
OPD - out of preferred sports drink
SAE - too soon after eating
UMS - unintentional midrace striptease

And my final thoughts (both Carla & I could not stop by this point)

ZMS -Zamboni missed spots (the crash shown here was because of big raw chunks of public skating ice, why do so many outdoor rinks have issues like this??)
RFU –rocker F****** up
BFU –bend F****** up
GFU -glasses fogged up
CPO -contacts popped out (this one just happened to a friend in a 3k)
SZB -skinsuit zipper broke
BRFU -big race freak-out
FAB -forgot albuterol
PIS -parents in stands
WIS -wife in stands
CBS -cursed by snails
NEI -not enough ibuprofen (masters only)
ZEP -Zamboni exaust poisioning
CBZ -crushed by Zamboni
ASiM -annoying song in mind
LAP -lactic acid poisioning

and here is my favorite, and anyone who has ever stood on a starting line experiencing intense pre-race nerves has likely felt this

ESC -Existential Skating Crisis!! This is asking yourself “Why am I here!!” and finding no rational answer.

If folks out there in internet-land have more to add, go for it!!

if you leave a comment, and get a message saying the comment did not go through, ignore that!! That is my super-aggressive anti-spam filter speaking, I always get every comment, and approve them by hand later in the day.

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