whither blog?
But pain… seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life.
Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on regardless.
Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life in addition to the pain?
-Lois McMaster Bujold
I am not so sure about glory while pursing one of the minor sports, but I am sure that you can find meaning, and certainly pain is quite easy to find. In bucketfulls actually.
I’ve been racing bikes a lot recently, and in the race I did tonight, all I saw for the entire race (& I made the decisive breakaway) was this-
Just a wheel driving in front of me- Literally, for the whole race, All I could manage was focusing on the gears & legs driving relentlessly onward.
It was tunnel vison, a long dark tunnel dripping with lactic acid…
It was all I could do to barely hang on to the insane pace of the 13 man breakaway, and do my turn when it was my turn to pull, That light at the end of the tunnel was a ragged, leg searing, ugly sprint. I was 4th or 5th, my memory of it is somewhat broken.
When I got home from racing, I was shaking with exhaustion, I had some dishes to do in the kitchen, and each plate felt heavy like a 45 lb plate in the gym.
I’ve thought a bit in the last few week of taking a break from blogging, or even shutting the blog down.
I’ve just been overwhelmed, work & training have built up into a toxic cocktail. I really try to post every 2 or 3 days, which has always been my mantra.
But I’ve only posted 4 times this month, I have lots of stuff half done… Bleah…
Usually I have a bit of a downturn in the spring, but this feels like a nosedive. By nature & nurtue, I’m a pretty energetic fellow, but right now I’m just so, so tired….
Brain Boudreau, whose freaky-strong legs are the ones in the above photo, has been bike racing too, and this past week is now back on the short track.
Either I need a break, or I need to get back on my skates, or.. I don’t know…..
Filed under: Quotes
First in line to say: Don’t shut it down. There are some times when half-assed is better than no-assed. It’s your off-season. One is expected to chill. Chhiiiiilllll. You’re the best the English language has for speed skating (Sorry Peter) and I would need at least a year to learn Dutch.
I suggest letting the blog slide if you must - which only you know. You’ve given and given, and shame on anyone who whines for more - flattering as it may be - let them blog for the skate world for a while.
Of course, I’m not part of that world, I read you for your writing and your insights
Too, rest now, while you can. I’ll be very interested to see how you find the demands of parenting - more often an endurance event than a sprint - compared to the rigors of training for and doing your minor sport. I believe that your dedication and willingness to suffer will make you a great dad; you may even be the first person I know to have lived through anything else as grueling/infuriating/gut-wrenching as an all-nighter with a colicky or teething child. Whatever, I suspect that the anticipation of responsibility to the max is figuring into this spring slump. Rest, relax, recuperate, rejuvenate, repair!
Sometimes, you gain much more from the community you have established by wearing your heart and soul on a blog-page then you’ll ever know. Don’t let it slide, let it rest…
For instance, sometimes your writing will let those that know you understand that you know do what you really need and help you to see it- you need to take a break from it all, not just writing, you need take one of those honesty tests too (are you over training? Its easy to do at this point in the season.) Andrew, look at your workout log… then consider…
*maybe post 2 times a month instead of 2 to 3
*maybe take a day or two off to really rest (no training, no yard work, etc)
Consider it practice for when you do need to heed to your body asking for rest so that you can be there for your kid.
SLOW DOWN FOR A FEW MINUTES…. BREATHE
The blog is not a homework assignment or a punishment, and neither is training. Writing is supposed to be interesting for you, too, and if the goal to post every 2 or 3 days doesn’t happen because you can’t quite make it, none of us are waiting to write a report card. Training and being tired from training should feel good, and if it doesn’t, relax. With a new baby in the future, you are also not “racing” toward the end of something… What were you doing before you started skating and before you started blogging? And before you stared college…before you started kindergarten? Your life is going to evolve, and you don’t have to feel that this is your last chance to tell the world everything or to get in a summer-full of bike races. (It is your last chance, for a while, to relax and just not worry about anything, so listen to some of the parents’ comments here.) You can always post things that are not 100% done, pictures, a couple of thoughts, and if it takes two weeks, we’re still your friends…and ride and race when you really want to - isn’t that why we’re all doing these things?
Andrew,
Listen to CARLA!!!
My life was enriched by my 4 kids, not stopped by it!
My life is enriched by my artwork, not a chore because of it!
My life is definately less stressful with training than without it…
Just take a break- slow down!
Take heed, make YOU a priority right now! Post when you can, REST as much as you need before resuming training again, and know that YOUR world is there to support you! (SMILE)
it seems that you have already received a lot of excellent advice so i suppose i second everything that everyone has said. even van for begging you to not shut it down. and kate for disapproving of those who would beg you to not shut it down. i think that is an accurate depiction of what most of us feel. we love the blog, want it to continue. we empathize with you and want you to feel supported in your decisions.
ultimately take care of yourself because that is what will dictate the quality of so much in your life. we will be satisfied with whatever you produce accordingly.
Hi Andrew,
Along with the others above me. Take a rest. There is no “must” in blogging, just as there shouldn’t be a “must” in training. You can train, you’ve got the opportunity to train, but no obligation.
The same goes for the blogging.
If you’re just too tired but feel that you have to blog, you can just write that and be done with it. I can’t imagine anyone not understanding that…
Take care, for yourself and for your future child!!!
Dear Andrew,
It’s no problem for me if you want to reduce your blog updates to once a week or so. Although, with all the extra “free” time I’ll have not reading your new blog posts, please don’t blame yourself if I quickly fall back into my crack smoking habits….no pressure.
-Keith
Andrew…
Blogging should be fun NOT mandatory. If it’s not fun anymore, then by all means don’t do it.
Now… that being said, we would definately MISS reading your blog. We enjoy it and even get a chuckle from it and laughed when we saw Mike’s photo on it,a couple of years back, but you do what you NEED to do, not what you think we want you to do.
Take care and hope Jess is feeling well.
Lori and Mike
I can only offer up a little advice from someone who probably knows: Greg LeMond. My favorite line from his book says something to the effect of “go out on your interval ride. If you feel good after the first rep, do 8-10. If you feel bad after 2, go home.” (quote very misspoken, but the gist is there).
As an athlete who is prone to experience overwhelming mental and/or physical burnout, I’ve had several knowledgeable and qualified people tell me to just listen to my body (or mind) and just TAKE IT EASY! until you feel better and actually WANT to workout. This reasoning applies to other various areas of life, too (except, unfortunately, a day job!)
write when you think you should about things that really matter to you. Its a great gift what you do for the sport . I think you would be missed by many if you just up and left. (Ive learned more and enjoyed this blog 1,000 time more than Ice chips or any skating related items ) . I think cutting the blog would be O.K maby add more during skate season???
What I would like to see is maby a few more photos you have a real eye for catching skating I truly enjoy your photos..
with training some times less can be best ..
well take care tell jess I say Hi.
As a former blogger, emphasis on former, a word of warning. If you do let it slide, it will be that much harder to pick up again later. You’ll have moved your mental energy on to other things, and it won’t feel like you have the “stream of blogginess” anymore.
I remember going on hiatus and then trying to come back, but every post felt forced and I had lost much ofmy readership — the core kept checking back even when I hadn’t updated, but most everyone else gave up waiting. By the time I really did want to come back and was super motivated, the moment had passed.
So maybe blogging is like training, or raising kids — even when you don’t want to, do it anyway.
I think most of my sentiments have been represented above - lots of people would miss your blog, everyone can deal with fewer posts, and I think, most everyone would survive if you decided it was time to be done. Do what you need to do for yourself and your family.
One idea, though… Perhaps you could consider restructuring the blog some. If you want to emphasize the speedskating part of the blog, not just your personal experience with speedskating, you could have multiple contributors. There may be many people out there with good stories and/or pictures to share, but don’t have/want their own blog. Or, there may be some bloggers out there with some good skating posts, but not the readership of yours. That could potentially cover a lot of the nuts and bolts of the skating side, and you could share your personal thoughts/experiences when/if you wanted.
Andrew- I know how you feel and I understand the choices you want to make.
When I shut down PIRWP a couple of years ago, I felt bad/ anxious about doing it, but it was a good and necessary break. I thought I would feel guilty- and I did but only a fraction of the intensity I predicted.
Your plates were heavey, 45lbs?
You’ve got a lot on your plate. Just don’t drop it on your toes