Brussel Sprouts

Dryland is the Brussel sprouts of your training diet
-Paul Marchese

Truer words were never spoken about training for speedskating, and unless you have perfect technique (and who does?) you need regular platefuls. I had some today in fact, I don’t like it any more now than I did at the first mouthful, but I like what it does for me a whole lot.

If you are a person who understands things visually, here is a quick visual example of what Paul means-

If you want to do this:

Do a whole lot of this first:

Thanks to my training buddy & friend Marco Bucci, for being the example in both pictures here. We have eaten more than a few servings of Boris’ secret “St. Petersburg Brussel sprouts” together, at least the scenery from the dinnner table is pretty nice.

One Ugly PB

It’s been an exciting weekend here in Salt Lake, and a busy one.

Races this weekend were… interesting, with the World Cup in town next weekend, some of the top sprinters in the world used this weekends race as a warm-up. It was kind of “world cup light”. It was fun sharing the ice with these astonishing athletes. Here are the results.

During my own races, I skated another 500m personal best, 37.08, .3 faster than ever before, but I was disappointed about it, as after a good start, good first corner, and great backstretch, I flounced through the last corner, almost crashing in my second crossover step and barely keeping it together…. I crossed the finish line pissed, as I knew I should have busted into the 36’s… Kip Carpenter was giving me some good natured ribbing after the race, “Where was the howl of joy? Dude! That’s a PB! You should be happy!” Press the play button and see what I mean. Jessica was taping this from one of the stands installed for the coming world cup, a cool thing about this angle is that you can get something of a feel of what 35mph on skates looks like, especially on the backstretch. You can hear her reaction to my stumbling final corner.

After that 500m, for my 1000m I was full of determination to set a PB or die trying, and I blasted off the line and reached the 600m mark .6 faster than ever before, absolutely flying… but the last 400m were almost as fast and fun as dragging 15 cinder blocks through a grease fire in the nude via a rope tied to my nuts, well, not quite that much fun, and somewhat more painful…. I slowed down terribly on the final 400m, to end up almost a half second slower than my PB (how does a 4.1 second speed drop sound from my first lap to the second! Ouch! It should be 2 or less). It was a skating induced case of complete rigor mortis lactic acid poisoning, I did metaphorically die trying! A friend emailed me that on friday night, she dreamed I had died during a 1000m race, and that I blogged about it after death, and people were wondering how I still had internet connectivity!

The top skaters were throwing themselves into their own fires as well, there were quite a few athletes with hacking coughs, glazed eyes, & funny looking walks after the races were over. Why do we do this sport again?

My good friend Jannicke, a Norwegian training in Salt Lake, took this picture of me standing on the start line of the 1000m, trying to relax before they call me to the start, this picture shows my weird lower back scoliosis quite well -look at my shoulders, this is what “standing straight” feels like to me.

There is no point I am trying to make with this photo, except maybe that chubby redheads with glasses, asthma, allergies, scoliosis, and weird reading habits can turn out well in the end. I am actually really glad the my spinal curvature bends the way it does, it forces me down and into the G-forces of the turn, if nature had curved me the opposite way, skating constant left turns would be much more difficult. Flip a coin, I was lucky.

Jannicke has a really nice website actually, You can find it here at http://www.jannickem.com, and she took some fantastic picture of the weekends racing. Her website is her own work, and follows her transition from figure skating to speed skating. She is quite happy to only have the electronic eye measuring her performance now, instead of a panel of subjective judges!

The Dutch National team

Imagine that you are alone in a very small gym, and your long workout is coming to a satisfying end. It’s been a good day, and you are distractedly doing your last set of abs, watching CNN’s coverage of the latest international jihadic bloodletting on a TV in the corner.

Just as you are on your last couple of reps, unexpectedly, Tom Brady and the entire offensive line of the New England Patriots wanders into the weight room. The gym is just you and them, and without a word, they begin warming up for their own workout.

Slightly intimidating? You bet! And that was pretty much how I felt when 1000m world record holder/gold medalist Gerard van Velde and several orange clad members of the Dutch men’s national sprint team walked into the Utah Olympic Oval weight room as I was finishing my own workout.

In the words of one of my first coaches, Pat Kelly: “Holland is a land of 16 million people, and 15 million of them speedskate.” These guys are the best of the best of the best, in a nation that obsesses about speedskating, treats them as rock stars, and pays them exceptionally well.

The funny thing was, although I have seen the Dutch race countless times on tape, with the exception of van Velde himself, I could not immediately tell who was who, as I am used to looking at these guys when they are wearing racing skinsuits w/hoods on. I realized I had no idea what their hair looked like/how tall they actually were, and some of them were also sporting the “travel scruff” that men of all cultures seem to adopt when “on the road”. I am sure even many dedicated New England Patriots fans would have problems identifying players without their gear on.

About a dozen world-class speedskaters train daily at the Utah Oval, but with the first world cup race of the Olympic year happening two weeks from now, all of a sudden pretty much EVERY top long track speedskater in the world is going to be here within the next week, the Dutch are some of the first to arrive.

99% of the time I am a competitor, but I am just enough of a fan of this sport to really enjoy the fact that I occasionally have a “behind-the-scenes” view. Jessica tells me to appreciate every moment of this year, I try as best I can.

One of the Dutch mega-studs asked if they could borrow my turncable. Sure, of course! I tried to make small talk, and pretty much failed. So after they were done with the cable & were starting all sorts of exotic looking bounding & jumping exercises, I ceased my gawking, gathered up my stuff and wandered out towards my car, ruminating my self-conscious way through the parking lot streetlights and dimming sky Utah dusk.

True Value

Cars, travel, pets, great coffee & paradise bars at Alterra’s on the Wisconsin Lakeshore, we live in a culture & time where so many of our pleasurable & memorable experiences have a price tag associated with them, even if it’s just burning gasoline driving to the state park to shuffle your feet through autumn leaves. Of course, the best things in life are still free, but a lot of cool things aren’t.

Quite frequently I have had people ask me how much my skates cost. I usually do tell, but I always immediately launch into one of my verbal convolutions about money & value & experience & travel & friendships that somehow never comes out the way I intend. So here is my shot at getting it right.

The central concept I want to invoke runs something like this: You can attach a dollar sign to most of the things we do as 21st century inhabitants. But what is the value & use these items & experiences add to our lives? Examining and being aware of our dollar habits, and how it flavors our emotional life is the crucial awareness that explains the lengths skaters & other athletes go to in pursing their sports.

I can give an answer to what my Canadian Van Horne skating boots & Dutch Viking blades cost me, roughly $1200 (2002 prices, since the dollar has tanked, it would be more now…) That is a significant chunk of change, but compared to what many bicyclists spend on bikes, or what ANY SPORT WITH A MOTOR costs, this is cheap for Olympic caliber equipment that will last for years. Even average runners can wear out 3-4 pairs of $100+ shoes a year. In 3-4 seasons, that costs as much as my custom carbon fibre speedskates.

But the price of skates is not speedskating, and indicates nothing of the value of sport & your own personal experience. Instead of asking obsessed/intense speedskaters what their skates cost, if you want to reveal the charged intersection of the spiritual/financial hotwire, instead ask them “how much have you spent on travel to get to races/practice in the last few years?”

Usually the response will be a rolling of the eyes, a hesitation, a groan, and then finally something like “damm, I don’t want to know”.

Then follow up your question with, “Where have you traveled? Do you have friends in faraway places? What are some of your road-trip memories from races? Who are the good people you never would have met unless you did this crazy sport?”

Then the groan is replaced by a smile, and the flood of true value comes rushing forth.

Every skater has their stories, their connections. There are about 10 different places I can think of where I if I showed up to inline or ice skate, I would be greeted like a valued member of the wandering skate-gypsy tribe; and I have developed strong friendships that go far beyond skating, friendships forged in the emotional smelter of racing that are now something else. Most skaters are like that too, since the community is so small, you develop strong connections. I started writing names of good folks I think of and miss. The list quickly became 30+ people, but I decided not to include it here, because I could barely scratch the surface of this eccentric & good-hearted tribe of blade and wheel.

But there is one name I will mention in closing, because true value & travel sometimes results in serendipitous connections with old friends completely unrelated to skating. I have known Satya since I was 13. We went to middle/high school together at ACS, & then attended undergraduate just down the road from each other (Hampshire for me, Smith for her). These days Satya is a smart fish in a big think tank, working as an alternative energy analyst at COWS in Madison, Wisconsin. After I was done racing at US single distance champs a few weeks ago, we went out for brunch and had a wonderful multi-hour catch up on the past DECADE of our lives. Circuitously I have my moth-like obsession with skating & the money I spent to travel to that race, to thank for it. That is true value, & worth every penny.

Thinking Procrastination

I am avoiding all the work I need to do. My to-do list is huge and shortly I have to leave the house for 4 hours of working out that should reduce me to a leg-shredded numb-brained bow-legged stagger.

So it’s a perfect time to ponder thoughtful quotes, & to inspire internet procrastination in others. Enjoy!

“I grieve that NASCAR people never go to the lesbians’ tea-houses, and the lesbians never go to NASCAR”
-Kinky Friedman, who is running for govenor of Texas

….not so much nonpartisan as polypartisan — interested in all sides, disdainful of dualistic arguments, and enamored of free speech as a first principle.
Description of The Revealer online magazine, it’s a polypartisan review of the press & religion. My auto spell check kept trying to change polypartisan to “polyp artisan”.. eeeewwww!

Americans eat French Toast for breakfast, but the French serve it for dessert and call it “pain perdu”, or “lost bread”
The revised Joy of Cooking, page 807

There is a “lost generation” in France that is really angry right now… No one in the American media is really reporting on the French racism that is the underlying reason behind all the riots going on right now. Maybe it’s a case that our press is sensitive after the shamefulness Katrina exposed, and they don’t want to be seen as gloating at others.

ok, enough procrastination… ONWARD!!

Voodoo & Fast Air

Whoever made the voodoo doll of me, CUT IT OUT!! I get your point! I will try to be a better person! Jeepers creepers!

I suspect amateur voodoo because I have been battling annoying things, not true injuries that would indicate professional work. My right knee and lower left back hurt for 2 weeks, luckily for me ibuprofen is stronger than voodoo, but then once those healed I have been about 15% sick for this past week. Not enough sick to miss workouts, but definitely enough sick to be miserable. I am constantly coughing up colorful phlem-chunks (one hit the computer screen as I wrote this) + dabbing a nose that runs socially inappropriate amounts.

But on the good side, I feel I am skating better and better. They are starting to shave the ice down to be REALLY thin for the world cups. You can really tell, it’s starting to get scary fast.

The accel pictured above (on the warm-up track, mind you) had that same blend of fear and joy one would get riding a performance motorcycle on that crazy twisty stretch of I-95 that runs through the northern part of New York City, or maybe the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Or picture any thrilling-terrifying road! DC Beltway? The Autobahn? That yellow line in the pic is a rope marking the inner boundry of the ice, and my head is over that line. I have my same old technical problems in this pic, flat back, tipped shoulders, however I am really happy about the drive direction of both skate blades, I am getting a lot out of each push & finally using the big butt I was born with.

It’s funny how skaters say things like “hey the ice feels fast today”“ but we never say “wow, this is some fast air”. The reason that altitude-located rinks have all the world records is simply that with thin air, there is less resistance to your forward momentum, there is less oxygen to use too, but that is not as much of a handicap as the thin air is a plus.

Also, the daily fluctuating barometric pressure of the outside conditions affects athletes skating times dramatically. Some coaches in Milwaukee have told me that people skate their best times when it’s blizzarding outside the rink. This is why there are some race days that EVERYONE is setting PB’s. When Ice and Air combine, watch out!

There is a storm moving through now, the mountains are getting hammered with snow. So it’s the best of both worlds in Salt Lake right now, fast ice and fast air!

More than just a read thru

Kick start the golden generator
Sweet talk but don’t intimidate her
Can’t stop the gods from engineering
Feel no need for any interfering
Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary
Can I get 2 maybe even 3 of these
Come from space to teach you of the Pleiades
Can’t stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read thru

The Red Hot Chili Peppers, from their song “Can’t Stop”

This was playing at the rink yesterday, I am just about 10% sick right now, and was suffering badly during easy laps (but I finished the workout, dammit!). “Kick start the golden generator” and “This life is more than just a read through”, these lyrics kept me going. It’s amazing how music affects the soul in vulnerable moments.

& Thanks to all who commented on the last post. It’s November, wow…. Olympic trials begins 56 days from today!

Bad Race Acronyms

Most people are familiar with these common athletic acronyms that appear on speedskating results sheets:
DNF -did not finish
DNS -did not start
DSQ -disqualified.

Some who have raced for years are even familiar with one of my all time, but much less common, favorites;

DFL -dead freaking last,

I DFL’ed a good deal when I was bike racing, usually on courses that resembled M.C. Escher paintings marching relentlessly uphill.

So I am having an email conversation with my close friend Carla “last-lap” Langenthal, (shown on the right here) and she wrote me about some new acronyms she has come up with. Her email started out with:

We all skated terribly this weekend, and I’ve come up with new abbreviations to go with DNF and DNS.

DNSRW –Did not Skate real well
NGR -not a good race;
SWS -slipped while starting
UBS -unexplainable bad start
UBR -unexplainable bad race
SIC -slipping in the corners
NPS -non-powerful straightaways;
WAL -wobbling ankles or legs,
STF -started too fast
STS -started too slow
EPE -equipment problem(s) excuse;
LEP -legitimate equipment problem(s);
IIE -illness/injury excuse,
RII -real illness/injury;
AHL -ask him/her later;
DAC -don’t ask the coach.

This, of course, got my mental wheels turning, and I had to add a few of my own creative acronyms to this list;

LOL -legs of lead
FBC -fast but crashed
CIC -crashed in corner
OGD -other guy drafted
OTF -over trained fool
NEC -not enough coffee
TMC – too much coffee
VUB -vomited up breakfast
FTD -forgot to de-burr
MTC -MUCH TOO COLD (a Lake Placid special)
EBF -eye balls froze (more Lake Placid)
SOB -skinsuit on backwards

Carla replied with:
DRC - distracted by rude comments
DBE - distracted by ex
DBC - distracted by crush
DBK - distracted by kids
DBP - distracted by parents
CLT - coach lied about split times
PCL - pair’s coach too loud
PIS - pair was inappropriately slow
PLP - pair lied about pace
OWW - officials were wrong
LCW - lap counter was wrong
CDW - clock didn’t work
AFO - armband flew off
GTW - got tired warming up
DWE - didn’t warm up enough
IRS - ice repair while standing on starting line

By this point, the acronyms were getting out of control;
WOC -White out condiditions (lake placid, about 25% of the time)
NEO -not enough oxygen! (high altitude rinks only)
AWB -ate Wisconsin breakfast
FTS -forgot to sharpen
SIR -stuck in rut (this has a physical/mental double meaning)
OTH -OH THE HUMANITY! (Reserved for really bad days racing a 10,000m)

More Carla:
FDN - friend drunk-dialed in the middle of the night
GSM - got stuck in the Marquette interchange
PBS - pretty but slow
UST - unusually sloppy technique
DTH - dinner too heavy
BTL - breakfast too light
DNH - did not hydrate
AJF - accepted junk from a friend
FPF - (travelling) forgot to pack food
ASS - (travelling) ate something strange (hahaha)
FPS - (travelling) forgot to pack supplements
OPD - out of preferred sports drink
SAE - too soon after eating
UMS - unintentional midrace striptease

And my final thoughts (both Carla & I could not stop by this point)

ZMS -Zamboni missed spots (the crash shown here was because of big raw chunks of public skating ice, why do so many outdoor rinks have issues like this??)
RFU –rocker F****** up
BFU –bend F****** up
GFU -glasses fogged up
CPO -contacts popped out (this one just happened to a friend in a 3k)
SZB -skinsuit zipper broke
BRFU -big race freak-out
FAB -forgot albuterol
PIS -parents in stands
WIS -wife in stands
CBS -cursed by snails
NEI -not enough ibuprofen (masters only)
ZEP -Zamboni exaust poisioning
CBZ -crushed by Zamboni
ASiM -annoying song in mind
LAP -lactic acid poisioning

and here is my favorite, and anyone who has ever stood on a starting line experiencing intense pre-race nerves has likely felt this

ESC -Existential Skating Crisis!! This is asking yourself “Why am I here!!” and finding no rational answer.

If folks out there in internet-land have more to add, go for it!!

if you leave a comment, and get a message saying the comment did not go through, ignore that!! That is my super-aggressive anti-spam filter speaking, I always get every comment, and approve them by hand later in the day.

Fall in Salt Lake, pt II

As I write/photoshop this, I am discussing with a couple of folks in my favorite wi-fi coffee shop, about how Salt Lake can seem like a paradise or a hell, depending on where you live, and how you plug into the social strata (and it is extremely divided). Everyone agrees the place itself is beautiful… I think Jessica and I have had such a positive experience here in Salt Lake because I am part of the intense speedskating community, and she has made quite a few friends from work, so we have not been loney.

I took all these pics walking to the coffee shop, rest day today, I need it too, the training load is increasing again….

Ok, enough fun, I gotta get to some client work now…. so here are some rainy day, fall in Salt Lake, pictures…

Day 3 & 4, US single distance champs

You can see the results of Sunday and Monday’s races listed here.

Sure, there were incredible results this last weekend, with Chad Hedrick & Shani Davis both breaking a pair of track records, that is what will go in the media. But what did it feel like to watch a whole slew of talented athletes willingly subject themselves to the punishment of the 3k/5k/10k?

As a pure sprinter, when I watch distance skaters I am always awed by the train wreck of beautiful technique meeting absolutely horrific suffering. I thought that I would do something that emphasized the human experience behind the often dry listing of results, every second in every race was earned by a pounding heart & burning legs. It’s easy to forget that.

I spent much of the flight home to salt lake messing around with some movies I took of the races, and this is the result. Enjoy!

(And no, that is not me in any of these photos, even thought that is my skinsuit on my friend Kirk)…. press the play button to get this show rolling.