Zen and the Art of Speedskating

I am not a machine, I am a human being
-Anni Friesinger

Wouldn’t it be so easy if the athletes on TV responded as quickly and perfectly as computer video games, like machines, and the harder you urged them onward from the comfort of your TV view, the faster they go!

But that is how things go in the movies and in video games; we have become a culture of comfortable control in so many respects. Yet maybe this is why sports occupy more and more fascination within the modern psychological airspace; because Anni Friesinger is not a machine, and no matter how hard her fans hope, or how hard Anni herself tries, she does not always win. She was 4th, actually, in the 3k. She has been the best in the world for years, and she misses the podium in the Olympics.

We love sports because winning moves us, but as often, gut-wrenching loss is equally enthralling.

The pain of an athlete, who has trained their whole life for something, is like a car wreck we can’t look away from. Figure skaters crashing on the first jump of a program, skiers who miss a slalom gate, XC ski racers struggling up hills as the winners accelerate away from them, Michelle Kwan explaining at a news conference how the spirit is willing but her body has failed. There can only be one winner, many losers.

Hmmm, in fact, there are 2,600 athletes competing in Torino. Only 84 gold medal events (there are some team sports, like hockey, counted as “one” medal, but the ratio is still pretty bad)..

Since my own limited experience of just having competed at one Olympic trials, I find watching the Olympics sometimes a wrenching experience. I am not sure if I ever made it clear here how much disappointment I feel looking back on my 500m races during Olympic trials. It was me vs. myself, and I still feel like I failed. I have a picture in the clutter of my desk, its of my stumble in the final corner of my 2nd 500, both arms windmilling wildly. It hurts to look at. Sure, I am proud to have competed there, they were fast races compared to many others, but for me, they still feel like failures. I desperately wanted that top 10 finish, to earn the right to wear the USA on my skinsuit. In the overall rankings after the 2 500m races, I was 11th.

Maybe we do this for the failure, the pain, for the striving that makes us better in the long run. But I wanted to take a moment here to thank someone, someone who I think is in a lot of pain right now, and someone who has meant a lot to this sport:

Without K.C. Boutiette there would probably have been no Derek Parra, no Jen Rodrieguz, no Joey Cheek, no Chad Hedrick winning medals at the Olympics. Even though I don’t belong in that list of athletes, his life gave me the idea to ice a try as well. Without K.C. the arc of my life would have been different, and this blog would never have existed.

K.C. is special because he was the first top inline speedskater to try long-track ice, he grabbed a spot on the 1994 US Olympic team, and opened a lot of eyes. He competed in 94, 98, 2002, and this is his final games.

Maybe someone else would have been that first inliner to make the ice scene, maybe it was an inevitable progression, but K.C. was the definitive pioneer, the first, the one who turned possibility into reality.

But K.C. is not a machine, he has suffered with a back injury for years, and kept training hard for that elusive goal, that stamp of a medal, that validation of all that effort.

He has placed 5th twice in Olympic races, his final event in his 4th Olympics was a few days ago, his final shot (and an excellent chance) at an Olympic medal. But K.C’s legs locked up in the last laps of the team pursuit, and he finished 10 meters behind teammates Chad and Charles, and Italy beat the US team, knocking them out of contention for a medal.

I read the results online before NBC coverage started; I read that KC was in tears afterwards. I skipped watching the coverage; I did not want to see this. I have a hard enough time watching other athletes in other sports suffer. Not this, not this good guy who has always been so friendly & open hearted, I don’t want that memory. (they replayed his tears several times, so I saw it anyway, damm).

K.C. I think that the inliners who have won medals at the Olympics, all of them ought to shave a tiny bit from the backside of each one, melt the shards together, and give it to you.

Or maybe those of us who stepped onto the ice following your inspiration, maybe we can all take a slice of our joy, and en masse brew a tonic against the wrenching I imagine is in your gut at the end of your career. I wish we could all do that right now. A roomful of us, how many? several hundred at least, probably more, a standing ovation just for you that goes on and on.

I came across this line in a poem by an obscure beatnik writer:

Like everything else I have
Somebody showed it to me and I found it by myself

He was writing about a huge boulder on the seashore, that wobbles every time a wave hits it, but I thought of speedskating, K.C. and his pain…. I hope he is at peace.

There is a much worse pain in this world, after all, it’s just skating, it’s just joy, just failure, just pain, just the Olympics…

7 Comments »
Filed under: on the road

The Olympics had their opening ceremony yesterday! And Chris Witty was selected by all the other Olympic team captains! to carry in the flag, leading the US team!

It says something about the success of US speedskaters that she is the third speedskater in a row selected for this honor. It also says something about the kind of challenges & internal pain Chris has overcome in her life, and the respect other athletes have for her. I don’t need to go into that here; the media will do that well enough. Here is what she had to say herself when they announced her selection.

What I can say about the half-dozen conversations that I have had with Chris is this: she is very humble about her accomplishments. She realizes that she has led an unusual life as a professional athlete; she appreciates it, and has stayed a normal person even though she has a gold medal & the 1000m world record attached to her name. She talks about how she sees Eric Heiden handle his own dollop of reknown, and how she admires his approach.

She is also quite funny in a thoughtful way; here is an example; she told me about her two dogs, both are rescue dogs, both are Husky-Heeler breed mixes. She said that her dogs can’t seem to decide if they are independent and aloof huskies, or people-centric blue heelers, and they vacillate between both behaviors in a schizophrenic way.

Here is Kip Carpenter & Chris Witty in the stands during the opening ceremony. Kip is such a goofball, he actually is the person who sent me these pictures! So I suppose its ok to post it!

hmmmm…. Its strange to have watched the Olympics over and over, and now I know many of these people…. wow….

As for me, on this beautiful day in Salt Lake, as the Olympics begin, I felt a door of my life close, I missed watching the opening ceremony, since I was at a job interview.

Somehow that is mythically appropriate. The Olympics start, and the gravitational pull of the working world grounds many of us who were soaring along, defying gravity, chasing skate dreams.

It was a good interview, and I think my chances at working there are excellent. But halfway through, as I was comfortably bantering back and forth with the interviewer about web/tech stuff, I suddenly felt a door close in my life, a door signifying the transition from being someone who put my athletic dreams ahead of everything, towards another set of priorities, another arranging of rewards.

And it was emotionally jarring to feel that door slam shut, another skater told me she also felt that door close while driving to a job interview. I have another interview on Monday.

Airplane pilots talk in reverent tones about flying, motorcyclists about the wind & open road, horseback riders about the surge of a huge animal responding to your commands. I understand, I really do understand. I could no more stop skating than I could stop looking at the mountains, the sunset, from living life with every sense wide open. My skates are practically my feet. But what goals? how much sacrifice, how much financial pain? How much more can I really justify now that Olympic trials are over?

And nothing is really written in stone, I think over time, if I prove my ability, this job could offer me the flexibility I need to continue competing at a high level. I will have almost a month off at the end of the season, and then only once a day training for several months afterwards, so we shall see.

There is training, Training and TRAINING. I have been TRAINING for the last 2 years.

I am so happy for the whole US national speedskating team… I have seen every one of them suffer physically during hard on ice workouts, and then emotionally through the normal season ups & downs, and Olympic trials. These smiles you see, this is part of the reward! keep flying my friends, keep flying.

4 Comments »
Filed under: from home

“The guys I’m racing are much stronger — I think most of them have a little better genetic makeup. Quite frankly, sometimes I don’t know how I hang or medal. But I do know I work hard, and when it counts and it’s crunch time, I excel. I can handle extreme pressure and do some incredible things when the pressure is on. I’m all heart, want and drive.

Unextraordinary people can do extraordinary things — you just have to add a little extra to the ordinary. That’s all I’ve done, is add a little extra to the ordinary at the right time.”

-Kip Carpenter (this linked website is Kip’s OWN work, the guy has talent!)

I think what Kip says is true for more than just speedskating. Take an ordinary life, work really hard, add a lot of effort at the right moment, in something you care about, something you are good at, and good things happen.

I would have linked directly to Kalamazoo Gazette for this excellent interview, but they don’t have online except for current subscribers. However you can read the full text of this excellent interview here.

It’s easy to forget that each athlete competing at the games is an individual who is probably experiencing extremely intense emotions. When you see Kip on the start line in the 500m, remember that there is a human being under that USA emblazoned skinsuit. A person who has experienced a whole range of success, nasty injuries, challenges, joys, defeats.

But when that gun goes off, then his gift of focus and technical perfection, his portion of the extraordinary, comes through. His gift more than makes up for the fact that Kip is a fairly slender man, in an event that often rewards the fast twitch qwadzillas roaming the earth.

I took this picture of Kip focusing just before he steps to the start line of the 500m in the Salt Lake World Cup. The ice over his shoulder is reflecting the current standings on the scoreboard. He popped off a good one on this day, a 34.72!, and it was his best world cup finish this year, 5th place.

Also, my personal congratulations to Kip on getting engaged to Inge! That is fantastic! Legions of Dutch women are crying into their morning coffee, jealous of the Dutch woman who got you!!

1 Comment »
Filed under: from home

The juniors wrapped up their metric competition today, and then the pack racing started in earnest. I took a few pictures of the racing, and a few folks sent me pics. So this is a long picture post.

Paul Dyrud Was the Class of the field in the 5k, in the neo-senior category (19-20). This guy has junior world championship medals in his closet, and it shows. He must have a huge heart (both physical and mental).

Here is Mike Blumel and Liam Ortega. When people talk about “falling” into a stroke, they mean using your bodyweight in addition to your muscles to create pressure into the ice. You fall into your push, draw a mental line directly from each skaters chin down into the ice, and you see how they are “falling” or “leaning” into the push.

Liam Ortega making his own journey deep into the pain cave. This is the last 100m of his 5,000m. Ouch. Liam is another one of my favorite technical skaters to watch, I wish I could keep it this together in the last 100m of my 1000 like Liam does in the last 100m of his 5,000m. This is good technique.

This is Nancy Sweider-Peltz Jr, warming down after winning the the Junior women’s national championship. For a long time I thought she was in her mid-20’s. I was shocked to discover she was only 18, she skates and thinks with a maturity beyond her years, and will represent the USA well at Junior World Champs in Efurt, Germany.

The reason that I wanted to show this pic of Nancy is to bring up a point. She not only skates fast, she practices good warmdown technique. Racing actually does a lot of harm to your body; Nancy is riding to get some of the lactic acid out of her muscles and to speed the healing process. It’s really easy to forget to properly warm down, but it’s essential after racing or hard workouts. Also note the water in the lower left hand corner. Warm-down & hydrate! She has the bases covered. Yesterday afternoon when some of the other juniors were schlepping about the Mall of America yesterday tiring out already tired legs, Nancy was asleep in her hotel room. In metric racing, these little things all add up. For her, this just added up to a very satisfying win.

After the metric races finished, there was a brief break, and then the pack racing started in earnest.

Here is Jay Jackson attacking off the front of the intense master 40-49 pack. Go Jay! Marty Haire is in the lead, and chased Jay down.

Kaari Cox, the woman I mentioned in the post yesterday, lead her 1000m race start to finish, and skated super strong even though she was really hurting. The ice in Roseville is in FANTASTIC shape, too bad it’s windy, or we would be smoking fast. I must admit to turning the highlights up a little bit on this picture in photoshop, to bring out the details in the reflection.

I believe this is the 13-14 year old boys, I am not sure if the kid rocketing off the front was doing it out of courage or just youthful exuberance, the pack sped up and blew by him within a lap, but he really went for it, saying in the best way “catch me if you can!”

The senior men skating through sunlit ice. From left to right the skaters are Marcus Merrill, Mike Hall and Nick DeHaan. I like the motion of this pic, and the ice. You can also see Mike and Nick correctly placing their blades onto the ice heel first. click on this image for a larger, desktop friendly version.

Saratoga Springs skater Andrew Hodor leads the always-intense 13-14 year old race as it winds up into a full sprint, he held on to win.

As for your humble narrator, I had a good day, and went as hard as I could in the 1000m, and skated a very solid race. It felt like a low 1:16. But the gusty winds slowed everything, and my time turned out to be a 1:20.6, slower than the 1:18.29 record. Damm, oh well. I won my race though, and barring catastrophe, should win the masters 30-39 championships.

3 Comments »
Filed under: on the road

But the dawn is breakin’, it’s early morn
The taxi’s waitin’, he’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go

‘Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Leaving on a Jet Plane is one of those songs that can just cut right to the bone, even if you don’t like folk music. My parents listened to a lot of Peter, Paul & Mary when I was growing up, so this particular tune is practically engraved into my DNA.

Thinking of this song hit me hard today. I am packing for US Masters National Championships in Minnesota. I must admit to being in quite the funk about leaving home & Jessica so soon after getting back. Yet I know myself well enough to know that once I am at the races, I will be happy & full of funktionslust.

* Funktionslust is an old German term that means delight in your abilities & delight in doing what you do best. Most athletes (& artists too) seem to be funktionslust addicts.

I trained very hard for US Masters Nationals in the past, peaking specifically for that weekend; I had imagined being able to call myself National Champion at something. However my imagination smacked up against the reality of tough pack-style competition, in my previous 2 trips to this race, I ran headlong into the previously mentioned Brian Boudreau.

Here are Brian and I in the 2002-2003 season Masters Nationals, in Butte, Montana, about 220 meters into the 500m. I used to skate “between” my skates, & never bring my knees together to properly drive into each stroke. Dave Tamburrino calls this “riding the horse”. It hurts my eyes to see this picture now.

And here are Brian & I last weekend, 3 years later, about 50 meters into the 500m. I am a completely different animal now than I was then. Now I am much more “over” each push, and even though there are still flaws in what I see here (the elbows should be bent more when 50 meters into a race, my skate is not pointing directly down the ice) it makes me happy to see that 3 seasons of busting my tail have had some effect.

Derek Parra has an interesting comment in his book “Reflections in the Ice” about being thankful to your competition. Basically he says that tough competition inspires you to train harder & become better, and you should be thankful that they are there. I am thankful to Brian in that through competing with him, and preparing as hard as I can to be competitive at his level, it has made me better.

Ugh, I am blogging instead of packing. After the intensity of this last month, it’s hard to get excited. I am even training through this race so I can reach other goals later in the season.

I have received several emails recently from people who say that this blog inspires them. It’s wonderful to hear and never fails to simply astonish me. I never know quite how to react when I find that my own madness is somehow contagious.

Such an odd thing, inspiration, funktionslust (as this cool poem describes) or pursuing anything with 100% of yourself. Maybe I will inspire someone to work hard and kick my butt! Maybe I will meet them this weekend at the races, one never knows…

2 Comments »
Filed under: from home