‘Cheatin Koons
Every coach has their own special ways of describing what they want their athletes to do, and pushing them to break through limits. Excellent coaches are often uniquely gifted in how they express themselves.
Earlier this week, the team I skate with was doing one of those brutal skate drills that basically involves gliding along on one foot, and getting so deep into the skate position that the knee is close to the ankle of the support leg, and don’t let that free foot touch the ice!
Folding yourself in half while balancing on 1mm of steel, and holding it for a looong time, improves many neuromuscular aspects of skating, and is also a guaranteed triple shot espresso of ouch…. Please don’t hurt your knees if you try this, it is easier if you are properly warmed up too…
As we were swimming through these rough seas of lactic acid, coach Scott Koons shouted from the center of the group:
“Come on! get lower! If you are cheating on this drill, you aren’t cheatin ‘Koons, you are cheating yourself!”
Through my own haze & shaky one leg glide, I thought, “wow, I need to remember that one”…. As it accurately describes drills for what they really, are: litmus tests of personal responsibility & motivation.
Later in the gym, during workout #2, I got Scott’s permission to share his words here.
Maybe a top accomplishment of a great coach is to embed phrases, attitudes, and goals inside an athlete’s mind, so even when that coach is not physically there, they still are with you. Even though Boris is not coaching this year, I still can replay his unique voice, & his brilliant ways of describing skating in my mind.
“Coaching is making men do what they don’t want, so they can become what they want to be.”
-Tom Landry
This is true no matter what sport it is applied to, from the Dallas Cowboys to ‘Koon’s bunch of bladed dreamers.
I now open the floor to you, dear reader, what have coaches of yours said? What has stuck in your mind through time?
and I do define the term “coach” loosely, if your great-aunt said something that resonated, and applies to this discussion, that is fine.
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Filed under: from the coffee shop
I overheard the coaches talking later that there are only a few men in the world who can make it up that hill in under a minute.
The jazz band was pressurized like they were jamming in the belly of a nuclear submarine cruising 20,000 leagues under the groove sea. 
The recent rains created bands of slop; If it’s possible, Lilly did her best to get more muddy than my shoes. After a two miles of mud-trotting, & Lilly doing multiple mud-angels (like us humans make “snow-angels”) we arrived at the water.
But for now, for this brief moment I have, I love my wife & the last 5 years of our marriage, and I want to return every ounce of unconditonal love the once terribly abused Lilly shows me. That is enough. 
One must realize that for every 1 great Inliner there are 5 who quit within a year and 4 who go on to be good skaters, but not great, we need to improve this ratio. These numbers are still much better than the current USS farm system. The problem that most Inliners have is that they think that they can walk into this sport and dominate like Chad did. When they don’t do this they get frustrated and usually quit. The ones that make it accept that they are learning something new and that it will take lots of hard work and commitment. Our best Inline to Ice athletes like KC, Jen, Derek, and Joey worked amazingly hard to get to the level they are at. Even Chad realizes that it takes a lot of work to maintain his position at that top level.
Snakes, before they shed their skin, will rub their noses against something, to make the break in the armor that they will wriggle through. In that light, I did something different last night, I went along with the Salt Lake City Friday night skate. 
