Zen and the Art of Speedskating

I have “every day is a gift” engraved on the inside of my wedding ring, and I truly believe that… The world is a beautiful place. It’s a great loss is to be so wrapped inside one’s own worries & furies that you blind yourself to what IS..

for example -here is the sky this morning.

I hate waking up, and do it badly. However, after the caffeine hits the bloodstream, early mornings have their charm. From a very young age on weekends my parents drove me to play hockey at dawn. Then I drove myself in pre-dawn hours to bike races for a decade. Now I am on the way to the Utah oval at sunrise, preparing for a whole winter’s worth of freakishly early morning racing.

This proves that the world has a sense of humor & irony. Another example is here: on the way to the oval I saw that the “Drunken Panda” of my earlier post had been out for some late night partying, and one of Salt Lake’s Finest had corralled his fuzzy ways…

At the oval, it was almost busy! The club ice time had a ton of people participating. This picture was taken at 8 in the morning. I was just starting my warm-up, and the club skaters were already an hour into their workout & drills! This is loving your skating!

As I was doing my own workout, who should I see step onto the ice for a few laps but JOEY CHEEK!! I honestly never thought I would see him again. He was there with a professional photographer, pretending these borrowed skates were his own.

When he was done, we chatted for a while, he is deferring going to Princeton for a year, as he has speaking gigs lined up through March! Fantastic!! His 15 minutes of fame has become a little bit longer, and it could not have happened to a nicer guy. Check out Joey’s journal from his recent trip to Zambia at Right to Play.

During the Olympi-gasm, it was fascinating to watch folks I know, like Joey, passed through the digestive tract of the mass-media. This grinding gut of video & print captured some of the people I know accurately, and did a disservice to others.

Joey has quadrupled his freckle-collection since I saw him last, and is truly at peace with the whirlwind of how his life has turned out. He knew he would retire from skating long before the Olympics, and he thinks this allowed him to relax, enjoy his final season more, and go faster.

Even though his skating days are over, he said “Its good to be back here, this is my community, the oval feels like home.” Joey, you are a member of the skate tribe for life!

On the way home, wearing a Joey-induced smile, I stopped at the Farmers Market, and wandered among the crowds, devouring free samples & buying produce. It’s “acceptable” for people in America to have all sorts of nasty stereotypes about Salt Lake City.

Maybe at times some are true: but I wish I could counterweight them with these images from the farmers market; Beatniks playing doo-wop on xylophones, young Latinas with tsunamis of ringlets selling corn, the lively-eyed NPR crowd buying salad greens from old farmers with tractor tire hands, a drum circle thumping away off in the distance, a grandmother fragile as a paper moth sharing jokes with a black man sporting waist length dreadlocks.

I wish I had a video camera embedded in my soul, and could replay it here. But all I have is my words, and my digital camera, and so I will share that, and an image of possibly the most perfect peach I have ever eaten. Or maybe in my exhaustion from 17+ hours of training this week, I was just perfectly ready for this peach…

As I was leaving, I passed two teenagers playing guitars with more spirit than skill, Their liberal-cause bumper sticker slathered open guitar cases brimming with tips. Paul McCartney’s lyrics rang across the crowded market isles.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

I am trying, I am trying… On skates and off…

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I once stayed up all night watching a master bike builder turn a bunch of titanium tubes into a finished bicycle; I still ride that bike.

Over a year ago, as I was being molded by Bruce Koen for the custom speedskating boots I now wear, I got a picture of that beginning.

Raw beginnings fascinate me, so maybe that is why every time I am at the oval, I can’t stop watching the ice being laid. A watched pot on a stove might not boil, but watched water will freeze right in front of your eyes.

The first day of skating is less than 48 hours away… I hope I can fit my right foot into my boot, I got stung by a bee a few days ago in the ankle, and although I have full mobility, the swelling makes my foot look really odd.

A wise friend once said to me “things are best in their beginnings”. This idea can be applied across so many spectrums, including this sport; as there are no more reflective beginnings than perfect ice.

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I have been having an intermittent email conversation with a Dutch fellow, he said that Europeans are always surprised at how well Americans do internationally, given how small skating is in this country.

Elite ice skating is microscopic in America compared to many other nations, but I just got an inkling where the next champions will be coming from:

John Dimon wrote an email to me this morning, worth republishing here:

I just got back from U.S. Indoor Roller Speedskating Nationals, Representing Mogema North America and Dimon Sports. Incredible!

Sprint night and finals were like a collage football game! We need this type of enthusiasm in ice racing! 1100 skaters! (Short Track Nationals gets like 220). Many inliners will be switching to ice.

Records were broken in almost all age classes. 98% were on 4 x 90mm or 4 x 100mm. Even most tiny tots were on 4 x 90mm!

Michael Cheek did well. I heard Joey Cheek was in attendance one night watching his younger brother. U.S. Speedskating rep Tom McLean was there as well as U.S.O.C. rep Kelly Skinner.

I think you will see continued cooperation from the two organizations.

It was so exciting, I felt like I was at a collage football game! People from associations were chanting against each other across the auditorium. There were painted faces in U.S Flags, Uncle Sam hats. a “spirit competition”.

It was a uniquely American experience.

Thanks John!! My mom was actually in Lincoln, Nebraska that same weekend at a conference, she said airplanes & hotels were jammed with skaters & supportive families.

How many future Olympians were rumbling across the hardwood this weekend? And why isn’t there chanting & general excited craziness at ice events?

In a time where there are some difficulties & challenges within the ice side of the sport, this is a breath of fresh air.

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This a joint blog post my brother and I cooked up together. It appears on his blog as well.

Currently David is a professional Musician in Austin, Texas, and I am a national caliber Speedskater in Salt Lake City. We both have moved to the towns that attract & focus the top of our professions.

This is in great respect because Mom & Dad did something incredibly right in raising us: they always encouraged us to follow our passions with 100% commitment, and also taught with the example of their own amazing lives.

This has had tremendous positive effects on us.. Thanks Mom & Dad! Really… thanks! We were very lucky kids! and now happy adults.

This photo is the two of us at our happiest, myself skating a painful 1000m personal best during Olympic trials (1:13.22), and David bringing a crowd to its feet with a blistering blues solo. (David’s note: Actually, there wasn’t a crowd. I discussed this gig here)

We often talk about the challenges of our occupations; recently we made up a list of the similarities & differences for your enjoyment.

Frostbite on the face is rarely an occupational hazard for musicians

In Speedskating, if you have a bad race, or just aren’t very good at it, most people will still politely cheer your effort. In Music, you are greeted with, at best, polite indifference, and at worst, shouts of “You Suck! Get off the stage!”

Effort is no guarantee of success, however it does usually help.

There are few groupies following speedskaters around, and the few groupies there are, are only interested in medal winners… Many crappy bands have starry-eyed groupies… Although to get the hot ones you need to be pretty good.

Speedskaters never get full glasses of beer chucked at their heads by rowdy members of the crowd…

Speedskaters will never be accomplices in the horror that is Muszak.

Being a Gearslut is a common side effect of being a musician and speedskater, and neither is ever completely happy with their gear.

Speedskaters never get free drinks from the bar. Nor would most want them.

Both Skaters & musicians have problems with their reputation & drugs, however no musician was ever asked to “pass” a drug test after a great gig…

Speedskaters are often up waaaay too early to train, Musicians are often out waaaay too late after gigs.

Speedskaters will usually have one main pair of skates, they may try different stuff from time to time, and maybe even find that elusive perfect pair of skates but really only use one primary pair at a time. Musicians often will own several different instruments. (Note from David: I should know. I have 11 guitars. But I need more.)

Good co-ordination is important for both occupations.. however, most speedskaters don’t skate better after a free drink or two from the bar…

Musicians get heckled by spectators: there isn’t much speedskater heckling. (What would that sound like? How about “You skate like a Flamingo on crack!)

If you’re world class at speedskating, you’ll can make some money being sponsored by a Dutch bank, win a medal, stuff like that. Being world class at music is no guarantee of anything.

Speedskaters only play to sold out arenas once very 4 years, but for those concerts, a measurable percentage of the world is watching..

Musicians are usually quite desirable by members of the opposite sex… and can be in AWFUL shape with a great “moontan” -and it makes no difference.

No musician will ever be on a Wheaties box. But then again, no Speedskater will ever be on the cover of Rolling Stone. And if he/she was, it wouldn’t be because of skating. It would be because they were skaters who acted like rock stars.

Both drummers and marathon speedskaters tend to end gigs covered in drool…

Many Speedskaters move live & train in exotic places like Salt Lake, Calgary, Hamar, and Milwaukee. Musicians can be anywhere, but are often in cool towns like Austin, LA, New York, or San Francisco. No one was ever excited about Milwaukee during the winter.

Musicians have to haul a LOT more stuff to gigs, unless you are a singer.

No Speedskater ever smashed his skates to bits in celebration during a good gig (or set them on fire ‘a la Jimi Hendrix)

To improve the aerodynamics of a musician’s car, remove the “pizza hut” sign on top. Ask a speedskater how to improve the aerodynamics on their car, and they will stop and think about it seriously for a few seconds (however a triathlete would spend multiple thousands of dollars actually doing it)…

It’s rare to see cheesy, mindless commercialization of speedskating, and the skaters are pissed about that!!

If the Rock band Kiss ever made up a short track relay team, they would win every race on intimidation factor alone!! Would you throw a tight pass against someone with who looks like one of these guys???

Being “smooth” is a desirable goal for both groups….

There is no MTV for speedskating, except in Holland…..

Of course MTV doesn’t actually play music any more anyway.

An excess of snotty attitude usually covers lack of talent or poor self-image in both occupations…

In both occupations, the best have fantastic technique…

There has never been a mosh-pit during a world cup… except the celebrations in Holland when a Dutch guy wins….

Both Eurovison and the European speedskating championships are prestigious competitions that have launched many to fame, fortune, and renown, and are often greeted by those outside of Europe with “huh?? What is that??”

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When talking about internal skating politics in person, so often I will just throw up my hands, and exclaim with frustration: “Why can’t we all just get along and be nice to each other”.

But money is involved, power, people’s lives, personal perspectives, & what they work so so so hard for. Niceness goes right out the window when you mix that stuff into sports. And there is no avoiding it.

I swore to myself, to have nothing to do with it, to just skate, just skate and be positive. Yet I waded fully into this morass by describing the US speedskating board meeting, and then the “Hindu death goddess” Eva.

I dove into that mudpit, and now I feel dirty with politics. Absolutely filthy. Sick with a disease I could have avoided by simply applying the time tested “Ostritch immunity strategy”.

So at breakfast this morning, I am eating my bowl of Wheaties, reading the box with Joey Cheek’s bio on it. What could be more pure that a celebratory Wheaties box? that bit of weird Americana that seems to MATTER for some bizarre reason.

However, politics wormed its filthy way in, money, lawyers, lawsuits, etc, and my bowl of cereal lost its taste.

Click here, and read for yourself the words on the back of the Wheaties box.

See if you can find for yourself what is so oddly wrong with this collection of words (of course Joey had nothing to do with this word choice, I would have hated to be the writer who had to create this).

I am sure someone will mention the 800 pound gorilla that is missing, in the comments, if you are stymied.

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